


I Swear To God I'm Gonna Throw My Phone At The Wall

by avio



Series: some silly human au thing [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5314499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avio/pseuds/avio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alphys struggles w whether or not it's appropriate to text the babe you danced with at the club a week later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello again! another installment of my little human au idea thing ;u; thank you so much to everyone who enjoyed Glad You Came! it was inspiring me so i wrote this little thing between hectic work days aha;;   
> there are gonna be two parts to this!  
> also Alphys' struggles may or may not be based off irl experiences >>;;

It had been a week since Alphys had been dragged to the club and seduced into dancing with a beautiful redheaded dork who she may have gone home with??? If the woman's friend hadn't gotten sick.

A whole week. A whole week consisting of daydreaming about grinding with a stranger, of remembering the make outs on the dance floor, of staring at the newly added contact in her phone.

**UNDYNE 000-413-63#0**

A week of trying to decide whether or not to send a text. It couldn't be that hard, right? Well, like, she'd texted her the next day to thank her for the fun night, and had gotten a response several hours later that literally only displayed “np thanks to u too” and that had been that. She'd been too giddy to reply, shocked that Undyne had answered in the first place.

Were people supposed to text the cute strangers they flirted with all night after it was already over? Was it some kind of Cinderella spell that ended when Alphys woke up the next morning, feeling hungover but satisfied?

Alphys groaned, clutching her phone and burying her face into her pillow. It's been a _whole week._ She needed to get it together and make a decision, but--

Would Undyne be annoyed? Ignore her?

What would Alphys even say?

“Th-this is impossible!” She gasped, lifting her face from the pillow to breathe. “My shoujos never covered _this_ dilemma before!” She propped her phone against the wall in front of her pillow, chin resting in her hands, eyebrows knit as she stared at it.

**UNDYNE 000-314-63#0**

Undyne. It was such a cool name for such a cool chick, and Alphys was dying to be able to talk to her again. It was driving her bananas. They'd been so close, and Undyne had started kissing her jaw, her ear...

_Oh god_

Alphys' face was beet red as she once again groaned into her pillow. She peeked up after a moment, her phone's screen was dark for only a second when it buzzed. She squeaked and ducked under her blanket because _oH goD What if thAT Was hER?_

Shaking, she reached out and grabbed her phone to read the text.

 **METTATON:** Alphy you dork just text her already gorgeous. I know you haven't yet, but it'll be worth it. The chemistry you two had... oh la la!

A frustrated noise turned into a giggle.

 **YOU:** I'm surprised you even noticed with that guy all over you!

 **METTATON:** Darling, you were absolutely lost as you danced in her arms. Even with such an... attractive person being with me, it was hard not to notice every now and then. Catty and Bratty told me that all you've done is hope she texts you. You silly seductress, just text her already!

Those traitors! They ditched her at the club and had the nerve to tattle to Mettaton!

“Argh!” She could not do this. She absolutely could not do this.

_just text her come on just do it omg_

She sat at her desk, abandoned doodles beside her laptop, an anime paused on the screen as she glanced at her phone. She'd left it on the bed, but still its presence teased her, calling her. She bit her lip, wandered over, picked it up, put it down, circled the room. Repeat.

_Frick._

_This is getting ridiculous._

Alphys sighed. She supposed she couldn't do it, after all. She wandered into the kitchen to make herself some lunch, noting that Bratty wasn't home. She put the pot to boil, staring at her phone left on the counter, drumming short, bitten-down nails on the surface.

A quick text possibly couldn't hurt? She swallowed, fingers so close to her phone. It wouldn't take long. She kept that thought in mind as she took her food back to her room, sitting back down at her desk and resuming her staring contest with her phone. There was a moment of silence. The smell of noodles was tempting and filled her with determination.

She took a deep breath, swiped up her phone, and quickly tapped out a message. Was it good enough?

 **YOU:** hey Undyne ^^ how's it going?

Her finger hovered over the send button, her breathing heavy. i _can do this i can do this i can do this i can do this_

**MESSAGE SENT**

That was basically the worst idea ever!! It's already been a week, of course texting Undyne had been a bad idea! The spell was gone! Alphys had no idea why she even bothered!

Alphys gave a yell, scrabbling at her hair and wandering around the room. Her heart was pounding, sweat building on her palms.

She finally settled down, stopped pacing the room. Now it'd been a good ten minutes since the text _literally the worst! idea! ever!_

Leaving her phone on her desk, Alphys burrowed into her blankets, screaming into her bed.

Undyne still hadn't responded.

It's been way too long. Alphys could feel the disappointment starting to settle in. She really should have known better, but she let Mettaton and Catty and Bratty talk her into thinking this meant at least a date or something. She should have known she wasn't even worth that.

It was just some girl at a club, that was it. There was no reason to be so upset about this. There was no reason to expect anything more from it. She just wasn't used to anyone giving her the time of day, especially someone like Undyne.

She wished they could at least go get a coffee or whatever it is kids do these days for first dates. Or something.

She curled up under her blankets, sighing, embarrassed, disappointed.

When her phone went off about twenty minutes later, she nearly screamed and her heart jumped to her throat, especially when she saw the text.

 **UNDYNE:** hey cutie heh heh. its good. hbu?

Shaking, relieved, and giddy as hell, Alphys could barely believe her eyes.

 **YOU;** oh i'm doing great! just watching a movie and stuff.

Nice. So eloquent. At least they were having some semblance of a conversation?

Undyne responded again. Alphys was filled with determination.

She ended up texting her all night.

 

~

 

 


	2. same tbh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now Undyne's perspective on this whole texting etiquette fiasco

“NGAAHH!” Undyne punched the wall with a frustrated yell, dropping her phone in the process. “Man, why is this so hard?! This is impossible!”

“Undyne! Nothing is impossible for you!” Papyrus set down the dish he'd just prepared on the table, watching Undyne assault her wall. This was not new, honestly – whenever she was frustrated by something (or excited, or encouraged, or...), she usually ended up punching something.

“She was so friggin cute! Why can't I just text her and tell her that? It's been a week, Papyrus!” Another punch to the wall.

“Undyne... Forgive me if I am mistaken (though probably not because I very rarely am), but it sounds as if you are... not up to the challenge?” Papyrus waggled his eyebrows at her.

She made another frustrated yell. “I am so up to the challenge! Are you kidding me! I will be victorious! Ngaah!!” She gave another punch with each statement, uncaring about the scratches on her knuckles nor the damage at all in general. “I'm gonna text the fuck out of her!”

“Ah, yes, of course! Though perhaps you should get your strength up? Let's eat our friendship lunch, and you can be fueled and ready to send a text message your darling dancefloor damsel!” He said it with so much enthusiasm, and this was one of the reasons Undyne loved him so much. He would always encourage any endeavor she had, including texting the cutie from the club a week ago.

“Hell yeah!” Undyne was so pumped! She picked up her phone and forcefully sat at the table, causing it to shake a little. “I'm hella gonna sweep her off her feet! It's gonna be awesome!”

Throughout the meal, Undyne tried to focus more on Papyrus' work than her phone, especially since she'd been the one to teach him initially and it had inspired him to learn more. This was important, and not time to be thinking of cute random girls.

“I do wonder,” Papyrus looked inquisitive, pausing over his mashed potatoes, “If there is a certain texting etiquette? When _is_ it acceptable to text somebody you'd met? Perhaps I myself was too bold, 'jumping the gun,' perhaps?”

Undyne snorted, looking up at him to see the blush. “That dude you were all over?”

“W-well _I_ thought it would be rude if I did not text him right away! It seems to be going well. I think. It makes Sans nervous though. Poor Sans! I know he is worried that if I were to... begin dating, I wouldn't have time for him anymore. Such is the burden of being so great! I would never want my brother to think I could not make time for him anymore!”

“He'll live. That guy's pretty resilient, isn't he?” Though she could just imagine Sans' reaction to Papyrus actually dating someone. Especially someone so flashy.

Alphys hadn't been too flashy, but she'd definitely gotten Undyne's attention. First at the bar, and then later when she clearly needed a knight to get rid of the punk hitting on her. Undyne swallowed, looked at her phone, and shoved more potatoes into her mouth. She had to steer this conversation in another direction or she'd drive herself nuts.

“Fantastic, Papyrus! You get better and better each time! To think, you're becoming such a pro at this whole cooking thing! I remember when you first started out!” Undyne dug in, fondly recalling a time when all he'd make is spaghetti (it was her own damn fault, honestly. She'd insisted.)

Papyrus puffed his chest out proudly, standing up with one foot on the chair he'd been sitting on. “Of course! I, the Great Papyrus, am a master chef! It is all thanks to you, Undyne! And my natural talent at being... awesome, of _course_. Nyeh heh heh!”

Undyne gigglesnorted, glad that some silly habits never died.

She wasn't expecting her phone to start vibrating.

_It definitely couldn't be--_

She fumbled her phone, scrambled to pick it up. Holy shit. It was a text from Alphys.

Undyne threw her phone out the window, causing a truly puzzled Papyrus to stare at her. She was now banging her head against the wall.

“Undyne, why on earth did you throw your phone out the window?”

Undyne's face was on fire as she stared past the wall, eyes wide. “I panicked.”

“Panicked? Why?”

“It was her. She texted me. Holy fuck I was not expecting that.” She had some silly smile on her face, blushing intensely.

“Wonderful! It seems as if perhaps your passionate feelings are returned?”

“P- _passionate?_ Papyrus, oh god, we don't even know each other!” She bit her lip and looked back out the window. “It's already dark outside, too, dammit. Papyrus, things like that are just in movies!”

Papyrus scoffed, joining her by the window. “Well, Undyne, sometimes these things happen in real life! We should probably go retrieve your phone now, though.”

~

It took far longer than she'd like to admit to find the pieces of her phone and reassemble it. Not that it was anything intricate... just that the battery had fallen out along with the back to the phone. She had felt more and more anxious as she put it back together, waited for it to turn on, and then stared at the text. Her nerves were on fire. How was she supposed to answer?? It'd been, what? An hour? Since the initial text?

After Papyrus had gone home after she put it back together(“I know you wanted to stay in my presence, Undyne! You're gonna miss your cool best friend!”), she curled up on her bed, biting the bullet and finally replying.

When Alphys responded, Undyne couldn't stop the wide grin on her face. She wasn't quite sure about _passionate_ , but she definitely thought there'd be some kind of twinkle if she took this cutie on a date, at least. Maybe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaayyy fic two! ouo i am definitely thinking of expanding on everyone in this au, i just really love my cute gfs right now. i do apologize for going a little into a weird direction?? or off topic i guess??? but i was kind of simultaneously fleshing out some ideas for other relationships and stuff.  
> and yes of course it's gonna be Papyrus and Mettaton duh  
> next will either be a little Muffet ficlet or Sans and Pap? idk yet! we'll see as the inspiration hits me.   
> don't worry tho there will definitely be more cute girlfriends i promise. i love them too much not to.  
> thank you so much for all of the kudos and comments and encouragement! you're all really great thank you!!!!!!!! ;u; <3


End file.
